When You Buy The Top of Every Investing Trend
Josh: My name is Josh and I’m the man who bought the top of every single stock trend. Come on. Looks like another red day.
Yeah, Josh quit his real job. That makes money to spend more time on his fake job. That loses money.
Josh: I think I’ve got an insider tip here from Dave Portnoy’s, Twitter.
Girlfriend: You have an insider tip. The info got to you, Josh, before Goldman Sachs.
Josh: You know, I bought into GameStop a couple of days after it became a national news story. And I thought to myself, yeah, this has got to go higher, just waiting for the smart money to get in bought here. Then when it’s just about to hit the bottom, I can’t take it anymore, you know, rice paper hands. And that’s my sell point.
Girlfriend: You have day trader in your bio
Josh: now. Then it usually starts to go up again. Second dose of Fomo. It’s not going to miss it this time. Enjoy the second ride down and sell the bags.
Girlfriend: Josh needs to have the magical ability to predict a stock crash based on when he buys it.
Josh: For me, it wasn’t really about the money. It was about sticking it to the big guys by letting other big guys take my money.
Girlfriend: I mean, it should be a little bit about making money.
Well, you pay for your hobby of doing yoga. What’s the difference?
Girlfriend: Yeah, I didn’t take a mortgage out on our house to do yoga.
Josh: Once a meme coin cycle reaches its full conclusion. That’s generally when I ape the fuck in, not financial advice.
Girlfriend: Yeah, it definitely is not financial advice.
Josh: You know, I sort of teach the whales a lesson by buying their shares. Dogecoin actually bought ours before Elon Musk’s SNL appearance and then sold the day after the thirty percent loss. I guess you can say that I dodged making coin on that one, but I did learn a valuable lesson that day, which is I should be basing my entire trading strategy on Elon Musk. His tweets,
Girlfriend: Are you just refreshing Elon Musk’s Twitter?
Josh: You don’t wait for him to tweet something. And then once everyone else is done buying, I jump in the game, wait for him to tweet something contradictory, sell again. I’m at a loss.
Girlfriend: He cashed out our mutual funds just recently.
Josh: I repeated that process with Bitcoin and that’s when I actually got in on the ground floor of made twenty point one. I guess you could say I lost a bit of coin on that one.
Girlfriend: This isn’t funny. At least before crypto, the losses ended at four pm. Now he’s up till three a.m. losing money.
Josh: She doesn’t even appreciate all the money that we’re saving by not paying capital gains.
Girlfriend: Are you serious right now?
Josh: And I still remember my first trade ever canopygrowth June 19th. 2019.
Girlfriend: Don’t get me started on the weed stocks
Josh: because you could say I got smoked on that trade, took a bit of a bong hit out of my savings, definitely in the red on that green.
Girlfriend: I’m glad you’re enjoying yourself because we’re in a ton of debt right now. You know, his friends call him, the bubblepopper behind his back.
Josh: But my actual credit name is shallow fucking value. I think I might have a solution to some of our financial problems because I just found a site that let me trade crypto on margin.
No fucking way.
Josh: I mean, you can call me Joe Rogan the way I’m about to ape. Yeah, I’m getting REKT.
Girlfriend: Let me guess. It’s Robin Hood again.
Josh: And probably in hindsight, leveraging wasn’t a great idea. Yeah. Apparently you can lose money on trading cards now do so trying to get into that world.
Girlfriend: He uses Coinbase for day trading and never once discovered a transaction fee.
Josh: I actually think AMC will probably cruise back up to it’s high again soon. If it does, that’s when we buy.
Girlfriend: His most profitable week was when we were on vacation in Mexico with no service.
Josh: Why do the put lasers in their eyes? I’d say my favorite part is probably tweeting all the way down. And then once I sold, well, you don’t really hear from me again.
Girlfriend: I need to get him back Playing Call of Duty. Hey, Warren Buffett, here’s your Beanie Babies.